Dear Friends and Family,
You’ve probably noticed that we moved our updates to this fancy-shmancy new website. It felt more “me” to have my own less cluttered space to keep everyone in the loop about what’s going on with us. Please check out the “Show and Tell” tab in the drop down menu. It’s a happy place for me to share other things I’m thinking about and enjoying.
Things are really ramping up here. Before I talk about what’s ahead I’ll share about what has happened the past week.
We went to Houston last week (Wed – Sat) and the experience left us emotionally and physically very exhausted. The good parts were: They did another CT scan to more accurately assess how far the disease has spread, they did more blood work (including some that should help figure out the mutation type of the cancer, which will help them treat it more effectively) and we had life giving time with new and old friends. We are so thankful for the expertise of MD Anderson but the scale in which they operate things had us saying, “We’re not in (Ar)Kansas anymore!”
This week I had two very important appointments with the oncology team here and a follow up appointment with MDA. I recorded both visits and we had an additional person there to take notes. We’ve found it can be hard to listen with our logical brain rather than our emotions – so the added help has been invaluable.
The Fayetteville oncologist, Dr. Brander, is amazing! I love her so much and she answered my many questions with both compassion and insight. After meeting with her, I had a clear understanding of what their plan would be. In a nutshell it is: A) Control the spreading of the disease through chemo, etc. B) Try to eradicate the disease through surgery, etc.
I had a few hours to rest and then we had a Zoom meeting with the MD Anderson oncologist, Dr. Raghav. He is also a professor at the University of Texas so he explains things in a very understandable way. First, he walked me through all my blood test results and there was nothing crazy alarming there. And then he showed me my CT images. This is the first time I have seen images other than my colonoscopy photos. He started by saying, “Imagine there is a loaf of bread on the table and it’s cut into slices.” He was explaining how the CT scanner takes cross section images of my body. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the analogy. Since you all don’t get to see these images I drew you a wonderfully accurate illustration of my body to help explain what’s going on.
The CT scan proved what we already know: I have a colon tumor that has changed minimally on the descending portion of my colon. I have a 5ish cm tumor in the center of my liver.
But it also determined that the second tumor, once thought to be on my liver, is actually in my peritoneum. The peritoneum is all the tissue around your organs (see illustration for better understanding). Because of this, I will now have three different specialist groups working on my case: colon, liver, and peritoneum.
Dr. Raghav explained why surgery first is not the decision but rather starting with chemo. Like Dr. Brander had said, we need to control the cancer before curative intent (and therefore surgery) is feasible. Dr. Raghav’s recommendation is to do Folfoxiri (the cocktail of four) and Bevacizumab. This is an identical recommendation the Mayo Clinic gave to a colleague of ours who was also diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at the end of December, which is very reassuring for us.
Next Monday (10:30) I should be getting a port placed (a port is where they will administer chemo so they don’t have to do an IV every time). And more than likely, I will begin chemo next week as well.
So, those were all the facts…but how are we doing? You know, this is all kind of hard to believe. I feel sad and often in disbelief that we’re talking about me. Me and cancer. But one thing that has become apparent is that it’s boring for me to talk about me all the time. I want to hear and talk about others. I want to tend my spring flowers, and jam-out to amazing songs, I want to sing and create art. Life is so much more than this. But it really does feel very consuming right now. The word consumed makes me think of Lamentations 3:22: “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail.” And you know what? I feel that. I feel his compassion, even now.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about Hebrews chapter 11. It’s often referred to as the “Hall of Faith” because it recounts all these amazing (yet very human) people who walked in faith even when life was crazy. I think God gives all of us our own “Hall of Faith” too. People who have walked the road before us. People who are really real and still have faith when things are incredibly hard. There are many of you who are reading this that are in my “Hall of Faith.” At the beginning of Hebrews chapter 12 it starts with: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses…let us fix our eyes upon Jesus.” And folks, that is what I’m doing. One day at a time.
Love you all. And thank you everyone for your continued words, songs, prayers and love.
24 responses to “May 19th, 2022 Update”
That is the most accurate drawing I have ever seen. Those frowns on your tumors will be even frownier once chemo gives them a big smack in the face. Xoxo
Oh, how your faith during this process encourages my soul! As always, God is the “Blessed Controller of All Things”, even during a chapter in life that looks to some like He’s not. Prayers from Colorado continue for you and your precious family.
Thanks for the great update, especially the incredible artwork! We continue to pray for you, dear friends.
Joe
I’ve been keeping up. Thank you for updates. Praying for this to be successful. If you ever want to talk I’m hear to listen.
Amanda dear friend….I hate that this is your story AND I love that you are so willing to share it with us! Your beautiful self is embracing this story you would have never chosen. Our lives are deeper and richer because you are taking us with you on this “unexpected road.” Love your fancy-schmanzy website and this opportunity to keep updated. God’s steps are forming a highway through the seas with footprints on a pathway no one even knows is there (Ps 77:19 TPT). May He show it to you and your family one step at a time. Love, Margo
Prayers for you and the family!!! God has you in the palm of His hand!
Thanks for the update, friend! We love getting to see and hear your heart behind all the things! Thanks for being so authentically you on this website. It is a blessing to see all of you in this time – the sorrow AND the joy. Love you!
Amanda I pray for you I have asked for prayer for you and God is gonna take good care of you I pray for your family and thank you so much for keeping us updated. Love and prayers go to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this.
I love this website, and I love you most! What a great writer and artist you are. Thank you for the update, both medical and Just Amanda! I love you and am praying for His compassion to be new every morning!
Hey Amanda, praying daily for you and yes I’ve walked this type of road before. Thanks for being honest and yourself and still wanting to talk about other things, tending spring gardens, doing art etc. As hard and sad as it is and can be to say your own name and cancer side-by-side (I get it), you will also experience some funny, weird, crazy, belly-laughing moments. Lament and mourn and laugh and dig in the dirt planting seeds. If you ever need an art party, praying in color, silk-scarf marbling (art), or a chemo scavenger hunt just give me a call or an email. Oh also if you need an extra pair of ears sitting in and taking notes (many friends did that for me). These kinds of things were light and life-giving to me during dark, hard times.❤❤
“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed…” Amanda you are living that well.
Thank you for letting us walk this sad journey with you. In the midst you continue to think of others.
Love the new look and it is definitely more you! Thanks for the updates too as I always love reading them and gleaning the golden nuggets of truth that you leave behind and pointing me back to Jesus as you so often do. Praying for all of you and for healing of cancer and all other wounds from this unexpected journey. I’m still in shock too and a hot mess sometimes processing all of this information.
I look forward to all the detailed drawings that will come out of this! You are still shining so bright in your exhaustion. Of course you are. Love you.
Amanda, I had to giggle at the “sad” tumors, imagining them as being very apologetic for showing up in your body. Praying for you now, Mike J.
Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. As always – your shining light for Jesus brightens my soul. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your world and heart with us.
The drawing really helped me understand, so thank you. Thank you for also being real and sharing your faith. I love how you refer to Hebrews. Love you and praying! I do like this platform better too.✌️😊💕
I like the website concept. I know you get bored talking about yourself, but I’m glad you are. I hope this is an outlet where you can feel cared for, as well as where you can know that you are impacting people in ways you may never hear about. You are on our family’s heart. Loving you from afar…
You are such a special and fun lady! I don’t know very many people who could be so creative in drawing pictures of their sad tumors! Your attitude and faith are inspiring. Love from Kansas!
Rich and Linda
You are beautiful friend. And I continue praying for you. I really love your writing and your authenticity.
Also, very accurate anatomy pic…well done. Better than the docs I work with. 😉
Once again, you encourage me, even in your trial. I love you, Amanda. You are ever in my prayers, sweet cousin!
P.s. Love the website!
Dear Amanda and Austin,
Thank you so much for the update. I am carrying you both on my heart and in my prayers until we can catch up. Much love!
Praying for you Amanda! I could read your writing and enjoy your art all day! Though I’m praying for a picture with no sad tumors. Just a happy gut! Love you girl!
The drawing was perfect for us visual learners! Daniel and I just prayed over the upcoming port, chemo, full healing and for all of you! Your perspective is inspirational and deeply encouraging. We love y’all!
Dear sweet Amanda
Just wanted to let you know we are always thinking about you and Austin and Wyatt and Claire. Good luck as you begin your chemo. You are in our hearts and prayers. Much love